A side-scrolling action game with you taking the role of Batman as you work your way through levels beating up, what I’m assuming based on the title, Joker’s thugs who want nothing more than to kill you.  You’ll face enemies of all types as well as numerous traps blocking your path.  It’s a pretty straight forward game.  You traverse the levels and obstacles in which you get to a boss battle at the end which kind of turns into a fighting game of sorts.  

Visuals:

I don’t think this was a Batman game originally as the levels look very out of place in the world of Batman and the Joker.  Everything just kind of looks like the old European vibe to it, like Castlevania, with Batman shoehorned in the middle of it.  The levels are nice looking though with some pretty good parallax and well defined traps and little details.  Batman himself is also a nice sprite as it is highly detailed showing his muscles and cowl.  I just wish he fit in with the world better.

Audio:

Nothing really stands out from an audio standpoint.  The music seems rather generic but upbeat for the motif of the game.  Likewise with the sound effects.  Batman’s gun (?) makes an unsatisfying woosh when it shoots. 

Completion:

I got to the second world when I finished all the lives on my third continue.  There seems to be more than three [infinite?] but I stopped there because I had my fill of the game.  I went through the first level feeling out the mechanics and lost a bunch of lives but I ended up beating that world’s baddie on my first try.  It was a weird little fighting game of attrition to see who shot the other the most.  The second world was dumb because it had moving platforms which would actually activate by the enemies.  That’s how I died on my last continue.  They activated one then a powerup that fell activated another.  I couldn’t progress so I tried to jump the gap and failed.

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Kind of the same again, just more lazy.

Visuals:

Step back from the previous entry and looks more generic.  Outfield play has changed perspective but still plays the same.

Audio:

Different music and that’s about it.

Completion:

kicked my ass with home runs and bad play on my part.

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More of the same, again,

Visuals:

Looks a little bit better, animations are smooth.

Audio:

A more contemporary soundtrack and less of the same tunes you always hear,

Completion:

Got my ass kicked in the bottom of the third,

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More of the same baseball, but now you have to control the direction of your swings.

Visuals:

Looks like a baseball game for the NES.  Not really much to add.

Audio:

Sounds like a baseball game for the NES.

Completion:

I was losing and I decided to end it because the game was long gone

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Another baseball game for the Nintendo Entertainment System and it is kind of run of the mill.  It’s not doing anything unique in the gameplay standpoint since it just plays like an early baseball game.

Visuals:

The one thing this game seems to do is make you play from the pitcher’s standpoint.  This makes it easy to pitch but hard as fuck to bat.  I don’t know what they were going for.  The aesthetic of this game also seems to be vintage.  Either that or I don’t remember how 1980’s baseball attire looked since these look like something more from the 1960s or 1970s.

Audio:

It’s video game baseball on the NES.  Nothing special.

Completion:

I got worked in this game.  I only played one inning and I couldn’t even get on base while the computer got bases loaded.  I gave up and called it a wash.

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An NES baseball game.  Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.  And a sequel to one as well.

Visuals:

An iteration of the game before it.  It isn’t chibi but it’s still the same sprites from the last game.

Audio:

Again, it’s just more of the same from last year.  I do love the noises the characters make based on what has happened.  It always made me chuckle when I heard them call an out.

Completion:

I played three innings and it ended in a tie.  I’d like to say I did better since I got more hits but I also had an error.  Also, I should have gotten more points with all these hits.

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An NES baseball game.  Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

Visual:

For an NES baseball game this one actually looks alright.  The characters look a little generic but they don’t look the super chibi style most do in this genre of this time.  I can give them kudos for that.  Everything else, though, is just the run of the mill baseball game.

Audio:

Man, what a jaunty music track from the get go.  It just keeps going with its upbeat melody that makes you want to just enjoy a circus…but not play baseball.  It isn’t until you get into the actual baseball game where the music changes to get you pumped up to play the game.  The rest of the sounds are your typical bleeps and bloops from an NES baseball game so it doesn’t really have anything memorable other than the music.

Completion:

Everything was going so well.  At the top of the inning I hit a homerun and took the lead.  Then, at the bottom, I got two outs and two strikes on them only for a two run homerun.  Then, on the next batter, he got to first and I decided to mess with the controls.  My first baseman ran and then threw the ball back to the empty plate.  I decide to say “Fuck it!” and called the game there.  The Ninjas win.

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Another Japanese baseball game for the Nintendo Entertainment System.  There really isn’t much to be said about it.  It doesn’t really do anything new but, if you like baseball, at least you have more options.  

Visual:

As I said, it’s more of the same kind of visuals you see throughout the system for baseball games.  The characters aren’t super deformed when you’re pitching/batting, but when you get to the outfield that’s when it looks like every other game.

Audio:

You get the same songs, again, you hear in most baseball games of this era.  It has to be a Japanese thing because I never heard them over here in the States.  The one thing I love in this game are the voice samples.  Hearing them say “SAFE” but in horrible low quality is fun.

Completion:

0-0 after three innings.

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From what I gather, this game is a shooting gallery.  I wouldn’t know because I couldn’t get past the first screen due to me not having a gun attachment, I presume.  So, I’m an expert!

Visuals:

Based off the three screens I saw, it looks very sexy.  There is a very busty scantily clad lady on the first screen waiting for a guy [you?] to shoot an apple off of her head.  She also has bunny ears, I think.  When the screen changes, there is also a dog with a top hat who laughs at you.  That’s all I got.

Audio:

Man, I can’t do this.  There isn’t really any music to speak of or really any sounds except for that fucking dog laughing at you.  

Completion:

NOTHING!  As I said, I didn’t have a gun attached so I couldn’t play the game.  This is my review of three fucking screens. 

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Barbie is asleep and dreaming some pretty fucked up dreams about sentient tennis rackets and kites all trying to kill her. Nothing is her friend in her dream and the only way she can coax critters to help her is by throwing baseballs at them? It’s a really weird premise for a game but it is what it is. I guess this is what toys dream of.

Visuals:

What an ugly game. The backgrounds are so confusing because it’s just a repeating pattern so everything gets lost in the shuffle. The helpful critters are hidden amongst the patterns and the “enemies” are all so generic that you don’t know they’re enemies until they hit you. Barbie looks good, at least.

Audio:

I literally just played this game about 5 minutes ago and I don’t remember a damn thing about it. Was it really that forgettable?

Completion:

I died by a kite and when Barbie asked if I wanted to keep dreaming [playing] or wake up [quit], I chose the latter because I didn’t want to play this game anymore. I feel sorry for the people who got this game but that’s how that time period was: be happy with what you got!

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