While crawling through forums and gaming websites, I always come upon the game that Wii proponents are messing themselves vigorously over: The Conduit. I too have been following this game quite closely but not with the same enthusiasm. Why I’m really following it is just to see how the legions of fanboys are saying that this is the game that will make people realize how awesome the Wii among other things. I have news for you fuckers, this game looks nothing more than shit we’ve had for the past 5 years.

First off are the visuals. Everyone is saying how technically impressive this is for a Wii game, which is true, but shouldn’t be seen as a good thing. Yes, the Wii is the weakest of the three consoles and doesn’t have TRUE HD capabilities, but every time I hear/read that The Conduit is gorgeous, I throw up a little inside my mouth each time. The people mostly saying this are the Wii-only crowd who claim that this is on par with current Xbox 360 and PS3 games. !!! Have they not seen what Killzone 2 can pump out or Call of Duty 4 was able to do, at 60 frames per second nonetheless…at ridiculous resoultion?! To even compare the two, I feel, is an insult on an extreme level. From screen grabs of The Conduit, I see no sense of realism in this game. There’s buildings with clean floors and pristine walls rather than ones that look either destroyed or used as in K2 or CoD4. Hell, even Halo 2 had buildings that were at least partially used, not to mention Resident Evil 4. Again, I’m just going off of screens here and not complaining on fluidity or effects since streaming videos aren’t exactly the best thing to judge off of.

Next are the praises at how “original” this game is. Seriously? Terrorists, viral outbreaks, alien invasion, mutated people? This has all been done before plenty of times so there really is nothing original about it. I’m not saying that the other games were original, because they weren’t, but at least Gears of War or Killzone put you on different worlds rather than using Earth again. I’m just pissed because the same people that say it’s original are the ones who call Gears an Unreal knockoff or how Killzone uses the generic space marine figure. I guess having former Secret Service agent, Michael Ford, will be the next great character next to Mario and Solid Snake. Bullshit!

Controls are something that I could probably rally behind. I loved the controls in Metroid Prime 3: Corruption and with some few tweaks, which this game is offering thanks to customizable controls, would be the ideal shooter. Unfortunately with the good always comes the bad. The Wii and I never got along when it came to controls over long periods of time. Pointing at the screen [or resting my hand on my lap WHILE pointing at the screen] was easy at first but, over time, my hand would get tired of having to keep it in that position and would start to shake due to the strain. Mind you this isn’t after 5 hours of rigorous gaming but more along the lines of an hour or so. When a game requires you to be accurate with your reticule, shaking is a no no. This isn’t the Wii’s or the game’s fault, but something that would force me to consider the options. Unless they allow Classic Control support, but I highly doubt it.

Basically what I’m saying is that, although The Conduit is shaping up to probably be a great game, the people who say that it is original, a technical powerhouse and will show another reason why the Wii caters to core-gamers need to shut the fuck up.